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1. Song Written for Departure of Charlie Savage a Senior Lawyer at Department of Energy -- Office of General Counsel for Solar and Conservation, around 1980.
Shortly after President Reagan was elected it was clear that he'd do away away with President Carter's energy initiatives.
Everyone was scurrying for new jobs, among them, Charlie Savage, head of our Solar and Conservation section of Department of Energy Office of General Counsel.
Charlie Savage was a good guy, and we always got along well.
I was the newest lawyer there (having recently arrived in D.C. with my husband's job), and definitely at the lowest end of the G.S. scale for my position.
One day his deputy called me into his office.
He had seen my name in the paper in connection with the Hexagon show (see post on this), and wanted me to write a song that everyone could sing at Charlie's goodbye party.
This was a party for much higher ranking people so I would not be invited (and I actually hated parties like this so it was ok!) So I went into my office and emerged a minutes later with a song to be sung to "Oh Susannah," a tune everyone would know.
I tried to make it personal to Charlie who loved golf, had just had lots of dental work done, had come to D.C. from Florida, and already had a job lined up in Denver with group involved with oil and synthetic fuels ("Syn Fuels").
He had been working on the alcohol fuels program, so I got that in there, and there was also a reference to the surging gas prices and also to the new federal ethics laws intended to stop the "revolving door" between the government and private industry by limiting communication between people leaving government and their former government agencies.
So here are the words I wrote to sing to the tune of "Oh Susannah" and just see what happened next!
********
Oh he came up north from Florida where the juicy oranges grow,
And settled in at DOE just three short years ago.
Alcohol fueled all his days, "Syn" fueled all his nights,
He burned a lot of midnight oil at fifty cents a pint!
So it's goodbye General Counsel, let's pass the glass around,
He's heading west to Denver where the money's in the ground!
Well he dug a lot of divots, and he moved a lot of soil,
But out there on the golf course, he can't find any oil!
A dental drill won't dig it up (took weeks to find that out),
So he's going out to Denver as a legal roustabout.
So drink a toast to Charlie, let booze dispel the gloom,
For he'll never meet again with any people in this room!
*****
Well, it should have ended there, but it didn't! The day after the party, his deputy called me in again.
"That was a great song," he said. Everyone loved it, but I had to change the last lines!"
He handed me the paper he'd typed up. The last lines read:
"So drink a toast to Charlie; let booze dispel the gloom,
For he'll hopefully meet again with all the people in this room!"
I looked at him in disbelief! Not only had he mangled the meter, he had destroyed the message! Once again I retreated to my office and returned minutes later with the following:
You've done some quick rewriting as we toast our Superstar,
Just make darn sure this party doesn't make the Post or Star!
Please take a look at Public Law 95521,
Title Five prohibits what you'd advocate in fun!
So drink one down for Charlie,
May good times never fail!
Just call me when you need me and I'll be there with your bail!
And so we said farewell to President Carter's solar energy and conservation initiatives!
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And here's a bit more on that topic!
2. BE A FARTER FOR CARTER*
While working at DOE I learned how methane gas, excreted from farting cattle in feedlots, was being used as a fuel source to heat some buildings, and seriously considered as a possible source for energy.
And:
Although today there may be issues here too!
I used this as the basis for my "tryout" submission in 1981 for a place as a writer in the famous topical Hexagon charity review in Washington D.C.
At that time there were serious issues in the oil producing countries in the Middle East. President Carter had taken on the fossil fuel industry and had become a champion of alternative and renewable energy sources.
At that time there were serious issues in the oil producing countries in the Middle East. President Carter had taken on the fossil fuel industry and had become a champion of alternative and renewable energy sources.
President Carter had had even called the "energy crises" the "moral equivalent of war" -- which also inspired this song!
The Hexagon producers (who had fallen all over themselves laughing when I presented it) said it was too crude for the show! However, they welcomed me to their writing team, and I wrote other lyrics that they used! So there was no music written for this!
Any tune using 4/4 for the opening "recitative" and 3/4 for the chorus would do.
The scene opens with an actor in the role of Barry Commoner, a well-known environmentalist of the day, and author of "Politics of Energy," explaining the possibilities for the intestinal gas of cattle. (Sadly, methane now turns out to be a climate change issue, but that was not discussed at that time.)
*Yes, this is at the Hexagon post as well, but hey, it's good enough to be it two places, isn't it?
The scene opens with an actor in the role of Barry Commoner, a well-known environmentalist of the day, and author of "Politics of Energy," explaining the possibilities for the intestinal gas of cattle. (Sadly, methane now turns out to be a climate change issue, but that was not discussed at that time.)
*Yes, this is at the Hexagon post as well, but hey, it's good enough to be it two places, isn't it?
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(4/4 time)
I used to burn the midnight oil, and lie awake each night;
Reflecting on what I could do, to set our country right!
Our President has told us that this crisis equals war,
And every citizen must act to help our country score!
So here's a plan that I devised to keep our Nation strong ---
And send those tanks of foreign oil right back where they belong!
OH,
(3/4 time)
(3/4 time)
Be a "Farter for Carter,"
Break some wind if you can!
Harness "church creepers," one may be a sleeper,
Break some wind if you can!
Harness "church creepers," one may be a sleeper,
To power the launch of our energy plan!
Eat some beans, they are tuneful!
We'll build a new fuel source from scratch!
Be a self-starter, be a "Farter for Carter!"
Just remember: Don't light that match!
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3. The Windmills of my Mind at DOE
If you don't recall the tune see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=36&v=WEhS9Y9HYjU
I imagine I've a mission, cannot say exactly which,
For the program folks won't tell me, they just stand around and bitch,
They send mega-reams of paper, and they ask for my okay,
It's an acronymic nightmare, and a brand new E.P.A.*
I have tried to learn the lingo, and it's way beyond my ken,
Yet it turns out that a "quad"** is just a funny kind of "ten,"
...And I feel a small wind wind through the windmills of my mind!
I've a sheaf of regulations, please don't bore me with the facts,
We are Energy's Apostles, ye shall know us by our Acts!***
With a statutory structure that suggests the Byzantine,
And a leadership like Am. Jur.,**** such a lovely shade of green.
And the vans that take us to our work space spread along the Mall,
Burn up fuel as if we didn't have a problem here at all,
... And I'm tilting like I'm blind, at the windmills***** of my mind!
---------
*Environmental Protection Agency
**Quadrillion BTUs (British Thermal Units)
*** Book of Acts in the Bible
**** A legal encyclopedia comprising many books in green covers.
****** Windmills were encouraged and supported by our agency!
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4. My attempt to incorporate a lot of our DOE energy jargon.
An Energy Love Song
An Energy Love Song
Make up your Own Tune!
Or Just Rap!
Or Just Rap!
I've got a photovoltaic million quad burning for you;
No fossil fuel could match the heat my loving's gone through,
My resources are renewed when your reflectors glance my way,
I'm like a burning tank of crude oil every sunny day!
I'm a high voltage lover, and I'll never be a cheater,
All I ask of you baby is don't be a passive heater!
Let's get a power hookup that's way above the average,
With a live-in lovin' contract drawn up by Charlie Savage,*
Or we could seal up those spaces with conservation class,
And have the Padre do it at a nuptial biomass!
Oh solar baby, I'm burnin' out over you!
*Charlie Savage was the chief of our D.O.E. Office of Legal Counsel for Solar and Conservation.
Proposed Prayermaking
© 1980 Joan D. Levin
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Proposed Prayermaking
This next is not an energy song, but it relates the Carter-Reagan transition. I wrote this "Notice of Proposed Prayermaking" in response to President Ronald Reagan's announcement that children should pray in school.
It is a spoof of the language for proposing new federal regulations as published in the Federal Register.
It is a spoof of the language for proposing new federal regulations as published in the Federal Register.
John Swearingen, a Reagan oil industry crony, did not support the solar and conservation initiatives in which I was working at the time. He and his wife Bonnie became active Washington socialites.
Phyllis Schlafly was an ultra-right-wing woman who opposed departures from the traditional family structure.
Phyllis Schlafly was an ultra-right-wing woman who opposed departures from the traditional family structure.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly
SALT refers to the Strategic Arms Limitations Talks threatened by President Reagan.
Here is my draft of the notice to be inserted in the Federal Register.
SALT refers to the Strategic Arms Limitations Talks threatened by President Reagan.
Here is my draft of the notice to be inserted in the Federal Register.
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Notice of Proposed Prayermaking
Notice is hereby given under the Administrative Procedure Act of the promulgation of a School Prayer to be recited daily in all schools, public and private, in the United States and her Territories.
Comments should be dropped in the nearest trashcan. The deadline for comments has passed.
This shall henceforward be known as “The National School Prayer”
Lord, bless our Nation, keep us strong!
We’re happy Reagan’s come along!
He will lead our country well,
And blow those Commies all to Hell!
Like Dillinger and Willie Sutton,
Keep his finger on the button,
Keep him strong and brave and faultless,
And our Nation ever SALT-less!
Bless those kindly caring men,
Folks like Mr. Swearingen,
And still those solar voices, Lord,
Their constant whining makes me bored!
Help our Senate give the ax,
To the Windfall Profits Tax,
And when we see Your star aglow,
Lord, fix our thoughts on Texaco!
Bless my Mom and Dad and me,
My traditional family,
And flush right down the Federal drain,
Those who don’t match Dick and Jane.
And keep my Mom a kitchen wench,
And put Ms. Schlafly on the Bench.
Lord, Bless my school, and keep it free,
Of children who don’t look like me!
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