I DON'T KNOW NO ONE CAUSE MY BRAIN WORE OUT

I Don’t Know No One, ‘Cause my Brain Wore Out!  

(Tune: Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out!)

Once I lived the life of a college grad, 

Had lots of friends and I was always glad!

Went to plays and movies, read lots of books, 

Went to nice restaurants with very good cooks!

Then my memory forgot how to store,

At first it was just numbers, but then it was more!

Birthdays, anniversaries, name and places, 

Like a deck of cards, without any aces!   

(Chorus) 

I don’t know no one, cause my brain wore out! 

Under my hat, there’s just grey hair!

Aside from that, there’s not much there!

If we ever meet on the street again,

I hope that I would greet you like a long lost friend, 

But now I fear I’d just stare in doubt, 

You see - I don’t know no one, 'cause my brain wore out!

Lyrics © 2022 Joan Levin

DIURETIC SONG 3 -- An Ode to Hydrochlorothiazide

DIURETIC SONG 3

An Ode to Hydrochlorothiazide

Tune: All I do is Dream of You the Whole Night Through

All I do is pee for you the whole day through,  

And when night falls, still nature calls, 

All ‘cause of you!

When I’m asleep, when I’m awake, 

You never give me any break, 

You’re steady, ready, but so hard to take!

I hardly can pronounce your name — Hydrochlorothiazide,

But sad to say I'm now your most unwilling bride!

If peeing were a job that paid, I'd be a millionaire today,

But I’m a volunteer for you the whole day through!

Lyrics © Joan Levin 2022 

DIURETIC SONG TO ROW ROW ROW

To the tune of Row Row Row at:  https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107859172640/

Here's the chorus of the original as sung by Bing Crosby with lyrics attributed to John Scott Trotter:

And then he'd row, row, row

Way up the river he would row, row, row

A hug he'd give her

Then he'd kiss her now and then

She would tell him when,

They'd fool around and fool around

And then they'd kiss again.

And then he'd row, row, row

A little further he would go, oh, oh, oh,

Then he'd drop both his oars

Take a few more encores,

And then he'd row, row, row.

Here's my parody version as I deal with the effects of a drug for high blood pressure called hydrochlorothiazide.

And she would go go go,

That pill made sure that she would go go go,

She’d take tour of 

every bathroom here and there, 

She really didn’t care,

As long as there was one close by 

She’d be there fast as she could fly to 

go go go,

That diuretic had her peeing day and night!   

She’d just start in to snore, 

When she’d have to go more, 

and she would Go Go Go! 

Parody Lyrics: (c) Joan D. Levin, 2022

                                        ###

DIURETIC SONG TO STORMY WEATHER

Diuretic Song

Tune: Stormy Weather

I know why, taking hikes beneath the sky, 

I can’t do now, 

Staying close to home is all I do now,

Yet I’m going all the time!  

I go on, and go on and on and on,

Can’t stop peeing!

HCTZ* overtook my being,  

I’m peeing all the time!

     That’s a pill the doctors give for hypertension, 

     (That’s the same as high blood pressure, I should mention)

     All I know is every hour I feel that same old tension, 

     That must be relieved again!

I’m so sad, my condition makes me mad, 

And I worry!

But can’t stop now, because I’ve gotta scurry. 

Back to that throne again! 

Joan Levin March 9, 2022

Lyrics (c) 2022 JoanDLevin

*HCTZ = Hydrochlorothiazide, a diuretic prescribed for high blood pressure.

THE CHANGE SONG

 The Change Song

Tune: These Boots are Made for Walking

(by Nancy Sinatra)

Heracleitus said these words quite early:

You can’t step in that same river twice!

Change is all that’s constant, know it surely -- 

That’s what gives our life its extra spice!

Mutatis mutandis!

Is where it’s at, that’s true!

And every single day those changes

        Wash up over you!

Whitehead said each moment we’re evolving –  

We’re not the gal or fella’ that we were;

Life is just a problem for the solving, 

And that is all that we can know for sure!  

Mutatis mutandis!

Just try not to stew! 

You can master change,  

        It doesn’t have to master you!

The path you’re treading may seem harsh and cruel,

Hard luck striking like an ugly toad,

But strife and evil may conceal a jewel,

Hidden in the dust along life’s road –

     Mutatis mutandis!

     Cheer up, don’t be blue!

     Adversity has sweet uses;  

     Just look!  You’ll see that’s true!  

So when those changes roll into your station,  

Hop aboard and ride for all you’re worth,

You may not know the final destination,

But what a way to travel on this earth!

Mutatis mutandis!

No matter what you do!

You can’t fight it, learn to love it,  

        Let it work for you!  

Lyrics © Joan Levin 2000 

A SONG ABOUT SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

A School Kid’s Lament

Tune: Dixie

May, 2022

I wish that I were still unborn,

Then I would be less forlorn, 

It’s too bad, and I’m sad, 

'Cause I’m a little older!

The states have laws to protect the fetus, 

But nothing to stop kids who meet us

With a gun, for fun, 

So they’re just getting bolder!

   So  I wish I were a fetus, 

   Today!  Today!

   A mom who tried to do me in, 

   Could be in great big trouble!

But no one cares if I'm shot in school,

While NRA continues it’s dark rule!

No way, kids pay, 

While meaningful gun laws molder!  

Lyrics © Joan D. Levin, 2022

COUNTING IN GEORGIA

The 2020 Presidential Election was a squeaker!  Joe Biden emerged the clear winner over Donald J. Trump, but not before much anxious waiting as votes came in from across the nation. 

Georgia was a hotly contested state, inspiring these lyrics!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Counting in Georgia 

Tune: Marching through Georgia

Bring your calculator, folks,

Let’s have another count!

Right side up and upside down, 

Let’s get that full amount!,

However loud their “Trump-ets” blow,

We’ll make a full account, 

As we go Counting in Georgia!

Hurrah, Hurrah, we’ll tally every one, 

Hurrah, Hurrah, we’ll work until it’s done

That’s how we we can surely say with confidence: 

                WE WON!

As we go Counting in Georgia

Lyrics (c) 2121 Joan D. Levin 

###

Holidays in Time of COVID19

This year holiday shopping is mostly virtual.  Stores and malls are closed or limit hours or numbers of shoppers.  No big gatherings of friends or family - just a very different holiday season.

Here's my take on a favorite holiday tune!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joan Reconsiders the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, 

But there’s no jingle-belling, 

And who can be telling us words of good cheer,

As in past wonderful times of the year!

It’s the most worrisome time of the year!

Can we be celebrating,

if we’re also hating and living in fear?

At this most feverish time of the year!

It’s the most pitiful time of the year.

When we all should be shopping,

Until we are dropping, at malls far and near.  

It’s the most frustrating season, that’s clear! 

It’s the most blunderful time of the year.

Our leaders have failed us, 

A dire ill ails us, and leaves us in fear!

At this most dangerous time of the year!

Lyrics (c) 2020 Joan D. Levin

With apologies to Edward Pola and George Wyle whose 1963 classic I have borrowed here!

Note, I'm also posting this at:

https://joansoccasionalpoems.blogspot.com/2020/11/holidays-in-time-of-covid19.html

and 

https://joanscovid19blog.blogspot.com/2020/11/holidays-in-time-of-covid19.html

TUESDAY MORNING PATRIOTS (VOTE!!)

Tuesday Morning Patriots 

Our loyal troops in uniform are on the line for you,

They do their job at any cost, I’m grateful that they do.

But all of us can join the fight wherever we may be,

‘Cause Tuesday Morning Patriots will keep our country free.

Chorus:

Yes, Tuesday Morning Patriots are marching to the polls,

To exercise their voting rights with fire in their souls,

With ballots, not with bullets, they’ll send their message clear,

Our country needs good leadership, the time is now, it’s here!

Our right to vote has been secured by fire, blood and sweat,

Millions struggled, fought and died, and we must not forget!

Don’t let your country slip away!  Let your voice be heard!

Just SHOUT into that ballot box, they’ll hear your every word!

Chorus:

Never say that one small vote can’t turn this land around,

One plus one, a million strong, will make a mighty sound!

You have the choice, do nothing, and nothing’s what you’ll get,

But take a small step to the polls, you’ll make a winning bet!

Chorus:

Make no complaint November fourth* when we get the news, 

Of who will be sworn in to lead and who gets walking shoes;

Don’t wait!   November third* join voters proud to serve,

And let the slackers who stay home get just what they deserve! 

* Revised For the 2020 National Election.  Change dates for other Election Days.

Any 4/4 tune -- such as Battle Hymn of the Republic --  could work! 

© 2004 Joan D. Levin.  May be used freely for any non-commercial purpose.

(Here's my original tune!  Thanks to Laura Fenster for making this lead sheet!)

Please see much more about this song at: 

https://joansoccasionalpoems.blogspot.com/2020/08/tuesday-morning-patriots-2020.html

CHICAGO BLIZZARD OF 1967

I invite you to enjoy the lyrics I wrote and pictures I posted at the time of the Great Chicago Blizzard of 1967!

https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/track?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:ec59d3d5-1e48-4bfa-9f8d-526375a32a03

To increase or decrease the print size go the foot of your screen and click on the +/- sign!

The Sibilant Song

Sibilant Song  2004  
(On the occasion of caps on front teeth!)
  -  Joan Levin

Tune: Stormy Weather

Can’t go on, all my sibilants are gone, I’m a lisper!

Can’t even say Mrs. or Mister –

It’s “hey you” all the time!

Once a Ms, now I’ve turned into a myth, my existence, 

Meets each day with dental resistance –

All I can do is mime!

         I can sometimes boil, but I can never sizzle!

         I can speak of rain but not of soaking drizzle!

         I’ll try to explain, and not to whistle --

         And speak like I did again!

The nineteenth – letter stops right at my teeth – 

Enunciation –

Has become one great big aggravation!

I’m lisping all the time!

                                 ###

The Voltage Song*

I’ve done a lot of living, 

Some taking and some giving, 

It’s true that I’ve been living large! 

So don’t deplete me, Baby, 

And I ain’t sayin’ maybe, 

Hey Baby, gimme a charge! 

I’ve done a lot of aching, 

Some whining and heart-breaking, 

My batteries are running low! 

I need a few more amps, 

So I can light my lamps, 

Hey Baby, give it a go! 

I’m twisting and I’m turning, 

But still my heart is burning, 

No medicine will help what’s hurting: OW! 

Don’t tell me that I blew it! 

A few more volts will do it! 

Hey Baby, I need that healing now! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No Tune Yet!
Lyrics © (no kidding!) Joan Levin, 2019
*Based on the premise now expounded by many scientists that all life is voltage!